Ladies and gentlemen for the past ten years I have worked in a very happy and romantic world of weddings. And while I find it an utter privilege to be a part of someone’s day I do have to tell you a warning tale today.
Brides, be very, very careful who you include in your Bride Tribe.
Team Bride, The I do Crew however you wish to be referred to – your job is to there to support the bride in her decisions not make them for her.
The reason that I feel the very distinct need to pass this advice right now, comes from the incident I witnessed at a wedding fayre recently.
I feel that any Brides just starting out need to know that when this process of planning your wedding begins, for your sanity as much as anything, you MUST choose the right people to support you.
A few weeks ago, I watched, in abject horror, as this offensive Maid of Honour burst every bubble that the Bride had. I could literally see the colour drain from the Brides face. There were no tears but my heart felt very heavy for this girl. Gone was her excitement. Her perspective for her wedding with every cutting word of this other woman! So, I’ve got a few tips if you are finding yourself at a crossroads. What do you when the member of the Bride Tribe goes rogue?
- SET BOUNDARIES ASAP- Whomever you’ve asked to be MOH (Maid of Honour) will, hopefully, be a person who is organised or at least helpful. But make sure that they know what your plans for the wedding are. Let her know you have it under control, but give her a role to play. That way she feels as though she’s helping you, but you remain in the driver’s seat.
- GIVE HER TASKS. I’m not saying for you to literally turn her into a maid. God forbid, she’s your friend, not your slave! But let her know what you think her skills will be good at doing. She might be the person for communication and therefore perfect to maybe organise a facebook group for all the bridesmaids so everyone can chat and get to know each other. Is she a bubbly personality- will she be great at getting games ready for the reception? The Hen party? Can she sew- maybe make something for the tables? Everyone has strengths so turn her’s into a positive.
- REASSURE HER – most of the time when people are trying to take control its because they’re coming from a place of concern. A wedding is a day where you don’t really want anything to go wrong. So if someone is stepping in too often, talk to them. Again, reassure them it’s under control. Make sure you can explain why you’ve chosen something. What it means to you. They may not like it- hey not everyone’s taste is the same- but hopefully, they’ll see the emotional connection.
- SAY THANK YOU- telling someone how much you value all the time they’ve spent helping you will make the world of difference.
I hope this helps anyone who might be starting the process of planning or even dealing with someone who is starting to become a problem.
Hopefully, talking out the issues will help you iron out any issues and keep your friend. So that on the day you simply get images like the one’s below of you and your best friends on the day.